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Save Your Marriage With Parterapi (Couples Therapy)

By: Ilan Wolffberg

Divorce rates in Denmark are among the highest in the world, making the word "parterapi", Danish for couples therapy, of vital importance to a great number of Danish couples

Parterapi is regarded by many I've spoken to as a last ditch effort. After a long period marked by great dissatisfaction, one is almost ready for divorce. Long talks and arguments haven't helped. Neither has speaking with friends and relatives, priests and bartenders. All the good advice one gets seems difficult to apply and one is close to giving up.

Parterapi is perceived as the last resort. A brave attempt to save a faltering realtionship. For many the thought of having to pay cash for help in working out a relationship is seen as a defeat. And it's expensive as well...

When a couple, after many deliberations, finally decides to visit a couples therapist, their expectations are often quite different. The one may already have given up and hopes for help (or courage?) to end the painful situation. Perhaps the man (or woman) doesn't really want to, but lets him/herself be "dragged" into therapy because there are no good arguments left but he/she doesn't want to be the one seen as responsible for the fiasco.

Many arrive in the hope that some quick advice will be forthcoming that can help them get back on track so they can continue with the happy realtionship they had before it all went wrong.

- And they come to the couples therapist and are told that there is no magic cure. They, themselves, will have to do the work, and the help they can get comprises support and guidance in (re)building a trusting and loving relationship. They are told that it will take time and hard work, that they will experience progress and relapses, laughter and tears, frustration and - above all - that it will require courage.

Courage is needed to open up and reveal one's thoughts and aspirations to another. It takes courage to share feelings, to allow another to see one's strengths and weaknesses. And it takes courage to open oneself to another, vulnerable and without the protection one has built up over a lifetime.

Boy ! Not strange that so many give up after a couple of tries. Or never even begin.

For those who make the effort and succeed, it has been well worth the work. The results of therapy are an increase in self confidence and in confidence in each other and in the relationship. Therapy provides strategies for solving future problems and difficulties, increased insight into ways of confronting the world and an understanding of how differences are important. The couple learns how they can help each other achieve the dreams neither one can achieve on his/her own.

And often they ponder: "What made us wait so long?", "I wish we had known all this long ago", "Just thionk of how happy we could have been all this time.", "If only we had known"

Article Source: http://www.simplepetcare.com/pet-articles

Relationship problems? Ilan Wolffberg is an American parterapi expert and has been residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Check out his take on couples therapy at "What About Couples Therapy?" and in Danish at "Om parterapi"
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