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THE SEVEN AGES OF PARENTHOOD

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

Stage 1: The Desire and the Longing

The first stage of parenthood begins when the desire for having a baby is born in the heart of one or both the parents. In most cases, it is the woman whose maternal instinct begins to assert itself. Women don’t feel complete until they become mothers. So, when the biological clock starts ticking, you decide to take the step of ‘making babies.’

Act 2: The Conception

You know you have conceived when the familiar signs begin to show that include missing the period followed by morning sickness. You wonder how you will go through it, but when you feel the living presence inside, you know it is all worth it. The slight flutter turns into a kick, and you love it.

Nonetheless, the discomfort goes on increasing in proportion with the physical weight, the swollen ankles and many other discomforts.

Then, you feel the time has come. You reach the hospital puffing and panting, totally oblivious of what lies in store. It seemed it will never be over, yet when it is, it appeared to be over in a jiffy. The excitement of a baby makes you forget the pain as though it never happened at all.

Phase 3: A first time for everything

You go through an entirely new experience when you bring the baby home. The first few days/weeks are marked by sleepless nights, sore nipples, running around to get things done and dieting to lose all those extra pounds.

Every step in development is an occasion for celebration – the first time she sat, crawled, stood up and took a few steps all on her own! Even the first potty and first solid food or the first tantrum is a major event in your world that revolves around her.

Nursery rhymes and pat-a-cake - crucial for child development but, all too often these days, delegated to the TV.

The time to go to school comes with mixed feeling. While you look forward to spend some time with your self and reclaim your life, you are paranoid about letting her out of sight.

Act 4: Play, School and Parties

The tiny cuddly baby of yours is now ready to go school independently. Now she has another world of friends, peers and teachers. You sometimes regret you have been left out of it. But, you rejoice the fact that your little helpless baby is growing into a confident young lady.

Toilet jokes - everything and anything to do with pooping and peepee is absolutely hilarious!

You see them find their first best friend, and you are there for them when the first rejection happens. You encourage them to play in spite of the scraped knees and you listen to their unfair complaints of the other not being fair.

You learn to let them go even though it is difficult - but you can't protect them from everything.

Phase 5 - Reading, Riting and Rithmatic

Then comes the stage of serious schooling. Your child has to learn the basic skills of reading, writing and arithmetic. This may be fun and games for her or as difficult as scaling mountains. Whatever it is, you have to be patient and helpful, encouraging her at every little achievement. These are natural differences and should not worry you unnecessarily.

Just focus on the little events that will become pleasant memories, and for heaven’s sake, do not compare your child with other’s children. Each child is unique.

This is the time to teach discipline to your child because he is no longer a little baby.

Act 6 - Pre-teens and Puberty

Boys and girls require different treatment when they are about to enter puberty. They are different in so many ways. Girls appear to be frivolous and boys pretend to be very smart, but both need special care to cross over the various changes happening in their bodies.

This is the stage when parents know nothing about the ‘in things’, be it in clothes, fashion or styles.

It’s time for you to match your language with theirs but don’t go overboard. You may pick up the ‘cool’ expressions but check her when she uses the not-allowed words.

You help your little girl try on her first bra, and handle her first period. You allow her to choose her lipstick and do her make up. You help your son go through the stage of awkward limbs and a squeaky voice that breaks. You help him choose the anti-perspirant and shaving kit.

Phase 7 - "Kevin goes Large"

Suddenly they are big and are attracted towards each other. They start thinking about each other.

Now, parents take the backseat and friends become all-important. Suddenly, parents know nothing, and they know everything.

This is the stage of late nights and parties, and arguments at home. Your child wants freedom from rules and restrictions. This is also the stage of new trends in fashion and music. Parents belong to a different era. They don’t understand.

The good thing is that now your child is a new young adult and you can have a refreshing conversation with her. Make sure you don’t sermonize.

Then, one day, the fireworks settle. The grunts turn into English again and like a phoenix from the ashes, and new (adult) human emerges - full of ideals and dreams and visions, but perhaps a bit short on confidence and wisdom.

Epilogue: Go, Went, Gone

So they've left home - but they are still your little darlings. Your worries and hopes for them continue.

Robert Munsch has put it rightly: "I'll love you, forever. I'll like you, for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" -

The years will pass so quickly. Make the most of every one of them along the way.

Article Source: http://www.simplepetcare.com/pet-articles

Dr. Noel Swanson is a leading contributor to Yes Parenting website and also has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems.
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